Big Fat Failure

I don’t think they’ll do the surgery. I’m up 4 pounds from yesterday for a total of 7.8 pounds over my entry weight. I sent them a message through the patient portal. I’m sure they’ll cancel it. It’s over.

I just feel like such a loser right now, though I haven’t lost anything. I don’t even know why this is happening; it seems a little unfair. I’m not grossly overeating; I shouldn’t be gaining this kind of weight.

I was doing so well until the stupid holidays. And this latest gain, I just don’t get it. How did I gain 4 pounds overnight? So lame.

I hate my stupid body. I hate it. Never once has it ever worked for me. All it does is betray me.

And I can’t get medication because my doctor’s office doesn’t prescribe it, so this was my only option. And I’ve ruined it. Nice job.

I hate every second of being this way. I want to change it. I’ve tried and tried. I’ve failed and failed. I just keep getting bigger.

I don’t know what to do.