Down

I am down a pound for the week, one pound below my starting weight for the program. That of course is on my scale; not theirs, but still. Yay!

In other news, the kids’ teacher conferences both rocked the house. Both have amazing grades and stellar comments from all of their teachers.

Desmond’s social studies: “has special gifts.” He is not wrong.

His ELA teacher thinks he’s hilarious. It’s because the things he says are so intelligent, so grown up, it’s like you’ve read them right out of a book or an article. He is 11. I thought I was advanced at his age.

Aislyn is a joy to have in class because she is so kind. Like Desmond, she is very bright, but she radiates positivity that then spreads to the rest of her class. I hope and pray that that lasts forever for her, that nothing robs her of her joy and love for everything. I guess there’s no reason to have that fear, is there? She’s not living my childhood.

Her teacher says she is very much her own person, marches to her own beat, comfortable playing by herself or with friends. I think that is a great thing. I absolutely love who she is. I love that she’s not a mini-me.

It’s obvious I adore my children. I love that they are not my carbon copies. I thank God for their sakes that they don’t have the social anxiety I struggled with my entire childhood and adolescence. I’m over the moon that they have friends and are well-liked.

I was so marginalized and misunderstood. Even my first year in college. To spend that much time as an outcast, so damaging to a person.

I think God or the universe eventually gives you the things you always wanted for yourself…to your kids. That’s what my mom used to say. I think my mom always wanted to be smart and have beautiful, soft skin, and she said I got those things.

All I ever wanted was to be accepted. And all the kids know and like Desmond and Aislyn. And why wouldn’t they? They’re the best.

God blessed me with them, I know. When I feel really down about other things, I remember that.